I have had the honor to coach extremely ambitious and intelligent people.
From graduates to managers, they have one common challenge: imposter syndrome.
If there is anything dangerous enough to turn ambitious achievers into doubtful and fearful creatures who compromise their heart desires, it’s it.
Only until working with me did they lift their limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. So that they could embark on the adventures of their dreams.
I was no exception.
I saw my boss asking me, ‘Kim, you have represented businesses in new territories & international markets — why didn’t you position yourself accordingly in front of our client?’
Among all things a co-founder had on his mind at the start of a Monday morning, this message was the first to be sent. Because ‘since last week’s meeting I’ve been thinking about how little you played yourself despite your experience’.
The man was insightful.
I used to have the hardest time internalizing my own achievements. Despite evident achievements and obvious hard work, my accomplishments seemed to owe to luck.
Inside me exists a latent anxiety that one day, people were going to unmask my incompetency. So I played small and kept the records shadowed hoping none would notice my fraudulence.
By the time I realized, my chronic imposter syndrome had been rooted in my subconsciousness, dictated the narrative I constructed about myself, and influenced how I expressed my professional image.
An entire journey has gone by since that Monday morning.
Imposter syndrome is in me, like always. I can see it like I see my shadow.
Imposter syndrome is with me in all of my pursuits. It takes the steps I’m taking in my work and my life.
But it no longer writes my story. No longer influences my perception and expression of myself.
Most of all, it no longer makes any decisions for me.
Being able to manage imposter syndrome has enabled my life one decision at a time, one action after another.
I reclaimed my confidence, rewrote my narrative, reinvented my career, stepped up for opportunities that came, created ones that didn’t, and made a difference in others’ lives.
Finally ended my days of living in secret anxiety, and started living in freedom & empowerment.
That’s my imposter syndrome story. How about you?
What’s your experience with imposter syndrome?
Ever feel overwhelmingly doubtful about your ability and fearful of being exposed as a fraud?
There is more than one shade in the palette of imposter syndrome. The phenomenon is expressed through a spectrum of seemingly opposite but actually complementary behaviors, sometimes consciously — most times, subconsciously.
I’m yet to thoroughly examine all of its colors. Still, 3 years of learning to manage imposter syndrome have taught me tremendously.
Below is 4 basic types of imposter syndrome behaviors. Let’s see which of them reflects your experience.
The Humble Expert
- You shadow your accomplishments instead of showcasing them;
- You discount your credits and struggle to fully receive compliments or rewards (you think your achievements attribute to luck more than your talent)
- You constantly feel under-equipped and strongly need to seek out more training or certifications.
- You avoid taking on challenging responsibilities unless you tick every requirement and are over-qualified for them.
The Anxious Perfectionist
- Instead of your own satisfaction, you perfect things for others’ validation;
- You are afraid of showing your in-progress work, get anxious and obsessive about polishing every detail;
- You ruminate about your mistakes;
- You micro-manage or struggle to delegate tasks;
- You over-work or over-prepare to compensate for your incompetency.
The Safe Player
- You shy away from doing what seems daring or significant, downscale your goals and settle for less than what you truly desire.
- You calculate your options based on fear instead of confidence (you try to see which way is safer instead of which is more rewarding).
- You take forever to make decisions & get paralyzed in front of opportunities
- You procrastinate tasks that feel ‘too big’ for you;
- You struggle to discipline yourself & believe you need to be harder and stricter on yourself.
The Soloist
- You conceal your challenges or struggles, worrying others may think less of you;
- You try to solve everything on your own and refrain from asking for help even when necessary;
- Others’ success intimidates you.
- You eventually sabotage your goals by under-preparing and leaving the outcome to fate;
Notes
- It’s natural to have more than one symptom as they come in clusters. Having more symptoms doesn’t mean having it worse (imposter syndrome is not an illness). It may indicate your keen self-observation, which is helpful in overcoming imposter syndrome.
- It’s also normal to have contrasted symptoms (over-prepare and under-prepare, taking on more work and shying away from what seems daring). Imposter syndrome expresses through a spectrum of opposite but complementary behaviors.
I have created a simple guidebook that helps you learn the tricks to manage imposter syndrome.
Inside this guidebook are my proven practices distilled from 3 years of overcoming imposter syndrome with detailed guidelines of
- 3 self-assessment steps to understand your unique imposter syndrome symptoms;
- “The Triple A (Allow — Acknowledge — Accept) practice” to manage overwhelming fear and doubt, and turn self-defeating thoughts into self-empowering thoughts. So that you can transform your self-sabotaging behaviors into self-supporting ones;
- “The Riddikulus exercise” to use humor to quickly deactivate the influence of imposter syndrome, and briefly re-direct your emotions of fear & doubt to relief. So that you can instantly self-motivate before taking demanding actions.
Infused with love and humor, this guidebook is my gift of joy for you to enjoy both the purpose and the process of reading it.
What my client says about it: “The guidebook is visually lovely and easy to practice. Recently I tried to move a step toward self-development. I made the decision to take the risk; however, in insecurity. Your guide came, and I had a better motivation to take that step”.
Simply put your name & email below, your guidebook will arrive in your inbox.
