We were at this stylish cafe by the river when my friend asked me, ‘How did you decide to leave your long-established career and urban life?’.
I looked out to the river, ‘It was inevitable.’
Inevitable — I said — the first time it was beautifully captured and verbalized.
You see, I was in business development for six years. I have worked with social organisations, corporate ventures, and startups.
There are three things I have been recognized for:
- Building connections and transforming stories into (business) development opportunities
- Being sensitive to others’ emotions, intentions, and needs
- Empowering and guiding others toward growth
All are the qualities a good business developer is made of.
There is a reason for all the decisions and changes we make. A thread behind everything. It’s the dots that always connect in hindsight.
For the major part of my life, I had believed I belong with the suit and tie, the networking buffets, and the technology services.
At the same time, I was profoundly lost. I struggled to identify myself with any of those things.
I was buried deep in self-contradiction as I failed to find a line between my delights and frustrations at work. I had trouble accommodating my work into my vision.
I have invested thousands in coaching and mentoring to overcome my increasing confusion and diminishing motivation at work.
I have made tiny changes and dramatic transitions to different career paths.
Now, in the Moroccan-style cafe, as a purpose coach, I told my friend, ‘It is what was meant to happen all along’.
There is a reason for all the decisions and changes we make. A thread behind everything.
For Steve Jobs, it’s the dots that always connect when you look back.
We need to see each piece of the puzzle for what they essentially are, not what they can be framed to be, and dedicate our genuine curiosity to exploring the right pieces that match.
I found great joy in listening to my clients’ problems and helping them see their needs. I was dedicated to being of service and holding the highest standards of showing up to assist.
The most blissful part of my job was supporting my fellow colleagues in overcoming their obstacles & expanding their capacity.
I treasured every story of challenging emotions and troubling performances. My heart was devoted to and proud of every transformation they made, no matter big or small.
Others’ recognitions for me have been true — if I let go of the ‘business development’ lens to see the insights at the bare essence of their words — those qualities are the foundation of a good coach.
Figuring out our life’s work — the work we are meant to do — takes some puzzle-solving.
We need to see each piece of the puzzle for what they essentially are, not what they can be framed to be, and dedicate our genuine curiosity to exploring the right pieces that match.
Confusing the suitable pieces we are looking for with someone else’s (our parents, friends, or society) does not help shape our big picture. Those pieces are simply unfit, no matter how much you try to accommodate them.
Another reason a coaching career attributes to my life’s work is the passion I have for it.
Discovering our life’s work is remembering the big picture of the puzzle, starting with extracting the insights each piece is hinting at.
I was a personal development enthusiast. I remember taking three to four flights every month in 2019 and going on every flight with a book related to personal growth, psychology, or emotional intelligence.
I woke up to podcasts and fell asleep after TED talks about those topics.
I never missed an opportunity to mentor others. I volunteered days and nights mentoring cohorts of underprivileged youth to win funding for their social impact projects.
Others reached out to me for support and advice about their career decisions.
I could talk about embracing our emotions, discovering our purposes, and pursuing our unique paths all day long.
I have always been intellectually aroused and whole-heartedly yearning for these subjects.
And now I get to do just that.
Immersing myself in these contents, I am fluidly in flow at my work. I no longer feel like I need to conceal or shed a part of myself to accommodate my job. Instead, much of my intellectual and emotional potential is blissfully awakened.
Most of the time, we do not have all the pieces discovered, and the big picture remains hidden from our sight. It is a part of puzzle-solving.
Steve Jobs brilliantly pointed out, ‘You can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backward’.
You see, your puzzle already carries a vision, a big picture of your life’s work. We were born knowing what we were meant to do in this world — it was all written in the pieces we possess.
Only during the process of growing up and socialization do we forget.
Discovering our life’s work is remembering the big picture of the puzzle, starting with extracting the insights each piece is hinting at.
This means playing a mysterious treasure game of tracing the breadcrumbs of codes to find our prize. It can only be done by looking backward.
- Evaluate different areas of your work: What frustrates you throughout your work? What delights you?
- Identify your passion projects and activities: What did you easily lose yourself doing? What did you always voluntarily gravitate toward?
- Collect insights from a third perspective: What did others say about your unique gifts and passions?
There is no way to figure that all out overnight. Most of the time, we do not have all the pieces discovered, and the big picture remains hidden from our sight.
It is a part of puzzle-solving.
We do not need a grand strategy to interpret the puzzle. A puzzle is worked out the only way it could be done: piece by piece.
Any area of the picture being formed will give original hints about the rest. Your life’s work will gradually unfold at its best timing.
No plan will work out perfectly for you. Simply take the right next step. Solve the puzzle piece by piece. Bet on yourself. And believe that the dots will always connect.
Trust this process — ‘You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma’, as Steve Jobs approached it.
Trust the process even in the event of failure. No experience is ever wasted. It is how you are provided with the exact lessons you need from both success and setbacks.
Trust yourself. Believe that you are always ready to experiment. Believe that you have what it takes to respond to roadblocks and challenges.
No plan will work out perfectly for you. Simply take the right next step. Solve the puzzle piece by piece. Bet on yourself. And believe that the dots will always connect.
Had I not been a business developer, I would not have understood the meaning of being of service to others.
Had I not been a salesperson, I would not have appreciated the power of stories.
Had I not been a manager, I would not have collected the experience of accompanying others toward accomplishment and growth.
Finally, had I not been a relentless purposeful pathfinder myself, I would not have walked the journey of exploration myself.
My business development work and my journey were the exact lessons I need to build my coaching career.
I was on that path for six years, and when I made the turn, the dots connected.
It was inevitable. That is how my puzzle should be.
I wish you a mountain of strength and an ocean of vulnerability on the journey of remembering your big picture.