One day during summer, I saw a caterpillar in my garden. So spectacularly bright and colorful. My cats were playing with it.
The wonder of nature is it is always telling the truth. Always. That’s why we use the phrase ‘human nature’ to describe our collective original.
Nature manifests the mighty force and flow of life.
‘In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect’. Nothing is rushed and yet everything is timed.
I recall my journey.
8 years ago, I was buried deep in my identity crisis.
It’s not about telling you what to do. Your purpose is a self-directed tool. It’s used to help you navigate your journey instead of revealing the destination
I went backpacking everywhere I could. I volunteered in a small village in Vietnam. I studied abroad in South Korea. Attempting to escape the reality of an unidentified person emerging from within and being repressed by seemingly this entire world’s expectations, but mostly, myself.
Wondrous adventures. Unachieved mission.
I came back from South Korea with grand gratitude and affirmation toward life — for 5 months.
Depression crept back up behind me and gradually pulled me into its downward spiral.
Years later, I finally stepped out of isolation and acquired support.
And years later, I arrived at what is the beginning of a rebirth.
As I am writing this article, the sun is shining through the skylight in my front yard, birds are chirping in the neighborhood, and my cats are lying around my garden.
I live closer to nature than I had ever imagined. My gift of articulation is being used to serve others, while my coaching work liberates and expands me every day.
I remember sitting with my coach at the end of our program years ago, after we had completed the discovery of my purpose elements, asking, ‘Is this it? What is next? What am I to do from here?’
The reason our pursuit of purpose seems to be a ‘hell-and-back’ journey is that it often introduces discontent so overwhelming that we rush to escape. But the return from ‘hell’ is rarely an instant success.
She laughed, ‘It’s not about telling you what to do. Your purpose is a self-directed tool. It’s used to help you navigate your journey instead of revealing the destination’.
I was confused. She encouraged, ‘Keep finding your way, Kim. Navigate toward your purpose. You have guidance now’.
I had some clues but a lot of faith. I trust this woman entirely.
During the years afterward, the way slowly unfolded. The purpose elements converged into a path of emerging freedom, fulfillment, and authenticity.
That’s how we know we are living our purpose. The human purpose is not an ultimate statement but an internal sensation of fulfillment.
These purpose elements have been my North Star — the guiding light you could only see when you have drowned out the fluorescence.
The work of clearing the distracting illuminations took me a while, as someone being throat-deep in the outward validation of our achievement culture. But when I found my starlight, I knew it had always been there — only I was losing my way of coming back to it.
That evolution from being lost to being found, and the work it required, were worth all the time on Earth.
The reason our pursuit of purpose seems to be (and it actually is) a ‘hell-and-back’ journey is that it often begins with the introduction of discontent so overwhelming that we rush to escape. But is the return from ‘hell’ ever an instant success?
Rarely.
Steering by the starlight is knowing the direction your heart wants to gravitate toward, without knowing each and every turn. Only by shifting our focus away from the result and the time limit can we experiment & find our path.
To find the way and make a breakthrough, what we need to give ourselves might not be time, but patience.
Give yourself permission to let go of the expectation of not ‘wasting’ time. Trying not to waste time is, ironically enough, wasting time itself.
Get loose of the ‘time limit’ and allow yourself to experiment with the experience, instead of rushing toward the final destination (hint: there isn’t a final, your purpose will keep unfolding and evolving).
Steering by the starlight is knowing the direction your heart wants to gravitate toward, without knowing each and every turn. Only by shifting our focus away from the result and the time limit can we experiment and find our path.
When we are open-minded pathfinders, we begin to notice the ‘breadcrumbs’ potentially leading to a trail and seize every possibility.
That has become my first and foremost principle when it comes to pathfinding.
I remember during the months of our coaching work together, we practiced envisioning my desirable 1-year-later life at the beginning and end of the program.
Images of the lives I wanted to live before and after being coached were like black and white. One aimed at isolation, the other at connection.
One year after the program, half of what I ‘wished for’ came true. Instead of celebrating myself, I was miserable.
Was the starlight misleading?
Now, my life looks no similar to any of those visions.
The truth might be buried under layers of our conditioned beliefs. Only by experiencing each layer can we tell.
Yet, it includes every underlying desire I had back then: a life in balance between solitude and connectedness, freedom and devotion; a life’s work encompassing all of my purpose elements through coaching.
All the dots are connected. Only it is manifested beyond my imagination — that I could create everything I have ever wanted, and that the things I wanted are also meant for me to hold. (Incredible how the universe works its magic, isn’t it?)
I realize, on the path to purpose, we might need to embrace the complexity of our consciousness and the possibility that what we know now might not yet be the whole truth.
The truth might be buried under layers of our conditioned beliefs. And the purpose we define at one moment is meant to guide us to a bigger, truer one at a later time.
Only by experiencing each layer of truth can we see the whole picture. Only by faithfully exploring the direction of purpose will it reveal more to us.
That is my second principle of pathfinding.
The challenge I faced that year marked my last attempt to follow my previous course. It was the turning point I arrived at so I could course-correct the route.
In retrospect, it was a critical milestone and a stepping stone toward my bigger and truer purpose.
Transformation may seem inconsistent at times. But if we trust our starlight, the dots will always connect at the end.
Be patient with yourself — the way a caterpillar is patient with its evolutionary process.
In nature, the metamorphosis from caterpillar to butterfly is one of the most iconic transformations.
You see, butterflies aren’t born with wings. An average butterfly spends more than half of its lifetime on changing itself through not one or two, but four stages — from an egg to a larva, a pupa, and a butterfly — to fulfill its purpose here on Earth.
We know butterflies as we see them. But we may not recognize their eggs or pupas. Much as we may not be able to identify or recognize who exactly we are becoming when we are in the process of change.
Caterpillars can take dramatically different appearances throughout their larva period alone. It is a beautiful way of nature demonstrating that transformation may seem inconsistent at times and each change is just an interim transition taking us toward the next.
But if we trust our starlight, the dots will always connect at the end.
I’d like to think that a caterpillar may not know which color its future self will spark, but it never doubts its own becoming and winging. It is willing to shed skin as many times as required to fully grow.
And so do we — no matter how unsure you are about your manifestation of purpose, have faith in your own realizing.
Trust that the next destination will unfold itself if you keep walking on your unique path. Trust that when you arrive there, another piece of the puzzle will click, and your picture will be appearing
During our deepest transformation, we break down unfulfilling patterns and rebuild our belief systems. At the same time, our outer life is yet to change, only incubated.
What captivates me the most is when a caterpillar moves into the pupa stage, it is encapsulated inside the chrysalis for weeks. This is the last transformation. The caterpillar will break down entirely on a cellular level, and then reorganize itself into a full butterfly form.
While there are incredible processes occurring in this motionless casement, it may not look like much to the naked eye.
Doesn’t that resemble our transformation?
Our most powerful transformation does not happen overnight or in happy moments. It takes place in our darkest periods when we must ask of ourselves to forge our truest courage and sincerest faith to dive into that dark pit, look into our belief system, and question our unfulfilling patterns.
So that we can deform our limiting perceptions and reform empowering paradigms — all in the ‘chrysalis’ while our outer life is yet to change, but already incubated.
Inside our ‘chrysalis’ is darkness because that is where the starlight shines through.
The wonder of nature is it always tells the truth and manifests the mighty force and flow of life. The transformation of ourselves is reflected in the transformation of nature.
It takes a daring stage-by-stage process of incremental, intangible transformations to promote a deep, long-lasting breakthrough that can bring about powerful and tangible changes.
The question is, can you be patient enough for transformation?